Smoothing over work communication sore-points
Smoothing over work communication sore-points
The office is a space for making connections and aligning purposes. But with differing priorities and communication styles, navigating those connections can often lead to conflict. Here are three common areas where office communication can become derailed and how to overcome them.
1. Irritating Interruptions
We all need to accept the fact that offices are for collaboration. So if you’re someone who needs the door shut (if you have a door) to do your work, you have to expect that you will be interrupted – especially if you’re in a leadership position. Closed doors, notes, or other flags can alert people to the fact that you’re busy but doesn’t always stop them from interrupting – especially if they feel what they need from you is equally important.
In these situations, body language is critical. Consider this scenario: you’re interrupted while focused on your computer, and although you look up, you don’t take your hands off the keyboard. That delivers a message of irritation and frustration versus stopping and facing the person, which shows you’re giving them your full attention. If you have a colleague who interrupts a lot, they may be a face-to-face communicator. The best way to mitigate this is to stand up. It’s a simple gesture that signals that you’re here and present, but this better be good – which prompts your colleague to get to the point without causing friction.
2. Mitigating Meetings
“Hi, Erin - We should get together. Shoot me some dates.”
How often have you had this email?
By making me come up with the dates, I’ve suddenly been made the organizer. Because I’m the one who now has to go to the effort of finding a time that works, this meeting request has become a nuisance.
People like being around people who make things feel easy for them. So follow these steps to make meeting requests something the recipient looks forward to receiving:
Give specific dates for meeting request, so all the recipient has to do is reference their calendar and respond. Limit your request to two or three options, ideally not in the same week or day-part.
When scheduling conference calls, always put the phone number in the subject line of the calendar invite to save people the step of searching for contact information.
Most digital calendars default meetings to an hour. But do you need an hour? Consider changing your default to 30-minutes or 45-minutes.
We all get requests to go for coffee and to “pick your brain”. So say at the outset that you've got 30 minutes and schedule it, so it’s convenient for you – say 7:30 or 8:00 am so it doesn’t interrupt your day. (This meeting request has a filter built-in because if your colleague really wants to meet, they’ll work it into their schedule. If they don’t, it probably wasn’t that important.
Set a clear purpose with an agenda. All meetings have one of two outcomes: either you’re meeting to make a decision or to get to know someone/brainstorm ideas. Make sure you’re clear on what that is and include an agenda in your meeting invite. An agenda will help organize your thoughts, gives priority to the points you want to reinforce, and shows that you mean business. It also helps to spark recall if your meeting has been scheduled in advance.
During meetings, instead of taking notes, try using this “WWW” (Who/What/When) tool inspired by Scaling Up®
Unlike note-taking, this format keeps you less focused on conversation tangents and more focused on action and next steps. As decisions are made, you're documenting who does what and by when.
Call out tangents when the meeting starts meander or if someone starts obsessing over details. You can put it this way: “This sounds important to you, do you want to take this off-line? Or can we solve this now?” This forces the person to choose that you can talk about it later or forces them to get to the point and solve the problem instead of endlessly talking about it. (We’re now to the point where we simply shout out “tangent” when this happens – and because everyone understands what that means, they know to move-on and still leave the meeting feeling respected).
Avoid being overly directive in meetings by focusing on the results required, not the tasks to get there. Sometimes we’re too directive. That lets someone else figure out the ABC to get to E, and that helps them grow and take ownership. They may need to come back to you - but that’s okay. You’re still showing them you trust that they make good decisions.
3. Avoiding the Blame Game
The best way to ensure teams stay aligned when things go wrong is to minimize the drama.
Here’s an example from Julie’s spin studio, Torq. Not all front of house staff have a front door key. The last person puts the shared key in a lockbox at the end of each day. But one day, someone forgot, which sparked a series of events that involved waking several people up and causing lots of irritation for managers who had to come down to unlock the door (our first classes start at 6:10 am, so that’s an early wake-up call).
Everyone immediately starts to blame the PERSON who forgot to put the key in the lockbox. But in reality, it’s the PROCESS that’s the problem. That simple shift in thinking diffuses blame and inspires focusing on improving systems. Our solution is a second back-up key/lockbox.
It’s when we focus on the past mistakes that people start becoming defensive. So focus on the future and instantly, you diffuse negative emotions and drama amongst the team.